Everything that you want and need is right in front of you, including me why can't you see that?

Hey all, sorry it's been a few days since my last post.

It is so hard to point out to someone that everything that they truly need and want to be happy is right in front of them. If they are so blinded and scarred from their past how do you break through that barrier and make them see? It is truly truly a difficult thing to do.

My radtastic guy has started several business ventures that he has been talking about doing forever, he has such great ideas and thoughts on how to succeed etc. But then the doubt sets in that things will not work out. You never know unless you try right? Well he started the different ventures and low and behold they are doing well!

I don't know if people that have R.A.D. feel that since things in their lives never really go the way that they had planned to, or they are so used to be let down, or are so destructive themselves that when they do find a niche for success or realize that they can succeed at something they want it to happen all at once. I can understand being so happy that something is finally going to work out but much like anything in life, things take time, successes do not happen over night.

His ventures are succeeding!! More so than we thought they were going to in the beginning but things take time to build up which they are doing, and once they get to built up? BOOM its like an explosion and everything is just going to happen and take place.... It is so hard to watch someone who pours his all into hours and hours amongst more hours into these businesses only to think to themselves that they are failing, or are a failure. Even if you have 1 person visit a website, or contact you for help or questions, thats success!!! The whole point of a website is to attract people to your page and do more research about what you are all about right? Well that 1 person took time out to find you, research you and now wants a response back to you? That in my eyes is success in and of itself. Word of mouth is the most popular form of marketing that there is out there. One person tells one person and next thing you know bam baby, you have 30 plus people checking you out. Even if directly they do not speak to you the fact that they sought you out? is success you are doing what you had set out to do in one way or another.

My guy loves me, he loves me a lot, he tells me this every day. We have great conversations, we laugh, we cry, we just enjoy eachother thats just what we do. But sometimes, you tend to feel like you don't exist. I dont mean i don't exist I mean of course I do, I am standing right here after all aren't I? I mean when I tell him how I feel about him, or compliment his success, etc. its kind of brushed aside. If I get all mushy and profess how i feel, and that I love him and that I want him and I want to be "near him" for lack of better words lol it isn't that I am so self absorbed in myself and that is all about me? This is my way of letting the man of my dreams know how I feel about him, I would think he would be flattered by my devotion and being so outspoken.

I make it a point everyday to tell him that I love him, to kiss him or to hug him at some point in my day those are my only requests in a day. Everything else is a bonus lol. I am human we all have certain needs that need to be met or fullfilled that is just part of life. So when I tell him that I want him, yes I know he has been with countless women in his past, and it was just a fling thing they did not all have any type of meaning to it per say, but after a while and years of doing this i can understand where it will begin to ware on you and after a while you just cant be like that anymore, you just stop and realize ugh im tired of that lifestyle im tired of being like that i just im done with it... So then when someone does come along in this case me, and tells him how much I want him, and need him and want to be close to him, maybe he feels objectified because that is all he has ever known from most women? But thats not the CASE AT ALL!!

And I can see where this can push someone away after a while. I have come to realize my faults what i do on my end that does not exactly help situations per say. I am working on them. Living with someone who has R.A. D. really makes you take a deep hard look at yourself and your life and the things that you do and say and how that can really affect the other person directly or indirectly.

I tell him everyday how proud of him i am and how much he is SUCCEEDING!!! he just doesnt want to hear it.. or maybe he doesnt believe that he capable of these types of achievements I am not sure. He is though he is soooooo worth and capable of sooo much more... i will continue in my efforts everyday to tell him how i feel and how proud i am of him even when he doesnt want to hear it, I will still be his voice......

Maggie